That was my experience with narcissism anyway. It nearly killed me and I can not go through that again. My only protection is objectivity and hope.

The narcissist in my life was my kid sister. Only 16 months younger but raised by me. It's impossible to image how many people that woman has hurt. That takes its toll, she is unhappy, bitter, and starting to drift into delusions of grandeur and paranoia. She is beyond help. If someone had been there for her in her 20's, maybe things would be different. Maybe, maybe. Sometimes it seems as if she was born bad.

There is the possibility that Anita is borderline and not fully narcissistic. If that is the case, she can change. The best chance she has for that is if she can find an approval supply. If she can find a group of peers who give her attention for herself and not her psychological construct. She toys with this idea herself.

Yes, trying to save VFF is a stupid projection and that any flash of goodness might only be manipulation. Care will be taken.

Posted By bookitty on 22 Apr 2010 10:26 PM

Posted By Robo Sapien on 22 Apr 2010 10:23 PM
Guys, come on.. All this fuss over lil ol' me, its just not prudent.

Sorry dude, It's not about you any more.  I'm just friggin' sick of UY riding my ass.

Geeze, Boo, if you're sick of Yimmy, your day just got a whole heap worse, 'cos now it's my fuckin' turn and I make Yimmy look like Little Bo Peep. 

 Anyway, that's off topic.  This is dick- for-brains' thread.   I'll start one for you in a minute, 'mkay?  

I never asked you not to say anything?  From that same email correspondence.

"Email offers no promise of privacy but I would prefer that you keep this between us."

So you're a liar.  Funny thing, I really don't care.  I think everyone and their dog knows that story.  But it's interesting that you would use it to try to hurt me and then lie about it.  I wondered if you would.  Now I know. Kinda manipulative there, Jimbo.

See the fun thing about growing up with narcissism is you know what is going to happen next.  As soon as you confront them, point out a flaw, or challenge their story in any way, they will do whatever they can to hurt you.  It's just what they do.   Of course, they pretty it up if anyone is watching.  "Look what you made me do!"

And dodging apologies. Yep, that's a big one too.  See there are real apologies.  Like "Jim, I'm sorry for the things I've said.  I respect your site and I don't think that my involvement is doing much good.  Let's talk out in private and come to some way to make things better. " 

And then there are fake apologies like "Look Jim, I'm sorry you feel that way but if you weren't such an asshole, I wouldn't have to do this."   Anyone who is familiar with abusive people catches that clue real quick.   Go read that apology you were so quick to take credit for.   There's a few more in your emails to me, if you need more evidence.

Go down that NPD list you keep pulling out, Jim.  Go over it point by point.  Now do it honestly and ask yourself why I don't want to save you.  Here's a clue, Anita knows how to apologize.  For real.  Here's another tidbit that you seem to overlook - Anita might be wrong, the wrongest thing on the planet but that doesn't make you right.

Still think I'm wrong?  I've told my husband about you.  Worried him a little because I've never called upon his excellent peace-keeping abilities before.  But I explained that it's just a better safe than sorry thing.   If you are ever near me, he keeps an eye on things.  Not because I'm afraid of you (don't flatter yourself) but because boy, you aint right.

Now, I've gotten into many an internet scuffle before and let me tell you, some of those anti-abortion types are freaky. But I've never brought it into my life.  Never felt the need.  So go ahead, put it all on me.  I'm probably paranoid, yadda, yadda.   But what is it about you that triggers all that?  It's curious, isn't it?

I would have preferred this to be a private email but obviously, you're not mature enough to handle that. 

Posted By Robo Sapien on 22 Apr 2010 11:17 PM

I meant every word about her on my blog, even the bit at the end. I'd shag her rotten, and so would you.

No. I wouldn't. Even if I were gay, Anita wouldn't appeal to me.

I originally suggested that you try and help her, not for her sake but for yours, because you assholes care more about being right than about being good human beings.

I DID try to help her. I attempted to initiate a dialogue between her and the mental health professionals at her school. I've urged and urged and urged her to seek help. I even offered-and UY can verify this-to drive up to Charlotte and go with her-because taking that first step towards help is difficult and scary, and I thought she could use the support. (I've guided six children through trials and tribulations- believe it or not, I CAN Be supportive and encouraging to anyone who is looking to help themselves.)

Early on, I explained my own struggle with a personality disorder, as a means to encourage her to seek help. She's buried me in vindictive shit ever since.  And that was back in December of 2008-long before she and I ever really butted heads.

And, no, bookitty. She's never apologized. For real.

Just so you know, if Anita is ever willing to make a genuine effort in seeking help, this particular "asshole" would back her 100%. If she showed some real progress toward true critical thinking, I'd back that 100%, as well. She's done neither, so far.

 I could give a shit about "being right". If Anita proves me wrong, I'll put a lampshade on my head and dance in the street.

I really am a humanist, I believe in helping people. Sometimes that involves being really fucking mean.

Exactly. Patting Anita on the head and telling her she's just a "sweet, shy kid" is pointless. It just validates her fantasy world. Apparently, though, when RoboSapien is caustic, he is "being a humanist", and when anyone else does it, it is because they "care more about being right". When Bookitty is caustic, and she has been, even towards Anita, it's okay-when other people do it, it's wrong. Go figure.

Coddling her and powdering her cooch will get you nowhere...

I haven't coddled her. I certainly haven't powdered her cooch. I wouldn't want to, for one thing, and I'm not even sure what that means, except as an example of RoboSapien trying to insert as many crude metaphors as possible. Okay, we get it. He's good at profanity. Hats off to him.

(Course, it seems he literally wants to powder her cooch, as well-in which case, knock yourself out, dude. She'd probably let you.)

...just like this monument to her bullshit is getting you nowhere.

I'm not trying to "get anywhere", beyind alerting other people to her bullshit. And, in case you missed it, I have put some effort into factually deconstructing some of her claims and providing evidence that she is delusional. It hasn't just been a matter of name calling back and forth.

Bookitty's defense is that Anita hasn't really done anything wrong. And I can see her point. But, I've come across people like Anita before who were relatively harmless until the moment they no longer were. Life can turn on a dime.

I don't find it timeworthy to intensely research a zillion threads just to be informed before I share my perspective.

You don't think an informed perspective is better than an uninformed one?

Posted By bookitty on 23 Apr 2010 03:55 AM

  Here's a clue, Anita knows how to apologize.  For real. 

Evidence? I'd really like to see where Anita has apologized. For real.

Hi bookitty.

It seems things are getting a little heated on this thread and I'm not quite sure why.

At it's heart all this is about is the claims of a specific paranormal claimant - Anita. Anita's claims themselves are fairly run of the mill (special vision, healing ability, ghost talking etc.) but what has been the most distinctive part of the claim has been Anita's approach to it.

What she is like in real life I could not say, but the claimant persona she has created on the JREF (and elsewhere) has been at many times quite frustrating. She pretends to be a skeptic but exhibits no skeptical tendencies. She claims to be a good science student (and may well be in her specific undergrad field) yet exhibits no scientific rigour to her own claim. But most annoyingly is a tendency to insist (often quite agressively) that her claims and stories be accepted as real solely on her say so, and that skeptics should dance round her and set up tests for her pretty much as her whim.

As a result several people (myself included) have felt compelled to rebut such claims with equal strength (as nothing else seems to get through).

I know you would like to think Anita is moving (or is capable of moving) towards a more skeptical viewpoint, but I see absolutely no evidence for that.

My personal main concern is that she is kept away from anyone who she might try to read medical information for. Anita seems to have a tendency to do or say anything that will yield more attention for herself - and when that is from a group fof skeptics then that's not too much of an issue - but she could easily get a great deal of attention by throwing herself entirely into the field of paranormal healing.

I hope you are at least in agreement with us that she should at all times be strongly discouraged from ever attempting to use her (fantasy) abilities on anyone other than fully-informed skeptics.

And as you can see from her recent claimed experience in Hollywood, not only does it appear she is incapable of restricting hersdlf in this way (despite what she herself said about only 'reading' skeptics), she will happily use her 'ability' even in entirely inappropriate situations such as calling a stranger a cocaine user.

Let's for the moment try and concentrate on the areas where we do agree and step back from the personal accusations that this thread seems to be devolving into.

Posted By Robo Sapien on 22 Apr 2010 11:17 PM
I meant every word about her on my blog, even the bit at the end. I'd shag her rotten, and so would you.

Jeez dude, come on that's a bit creepy and gross.

Posted By Robo Sapien on 22 Apr 2010 11:17 PM

I'm no evil genius, but there is a method to my assholishness.

I am.  If you can't handle it, perhaps you should unsubscribe from the thread and leave it to those who can, ya
dittomincing spanglescreacher.

Posted By Ashles on 23 Apr 2010 06:11 AM

Posted By Robo Sapien on 22 Apr 2010 11:17 PM
I meant every word about her on my blog, even the bit at the end. I'd shag her rotten, and so would you.

Jeez dude, come on that's a bit creepy and gross.

Disappointing for Trent too, I'd say.   I'm sure he thought he'd found someone to exchange endless tracts of psychobabble with, but it turns out that Mr 'My-Brain's-in-my-pants" Sapien is just a motor-mouth with a thing for weird Swedish chicks.
 

Posted By bookitty on 23 Apr 2010 03:55 AM

Still think I'm wrong?  I've told my husband about you.  Worried him a little because I've never called upon his excellent peace-keeping abilities before.  But I explained that it's just a better safe than sorry thing.   If you are ever near me, he keeps an eye on things.  Not because I'm afraid of you (don't flatter yourself) but because boy, you aint right.

Whaa...?

And yet you keep coming here for the sole purpose of lambasting this allegedly unstable man?

Posted By Akhenaten on 22 Apr 2010 05:43 PM

This was posted earlier today at the JREF Forum by some n00b called Robo Sapien, in an attempted response to GeeMack:
 

Let me be real clear about this: I have no compassion for Anita, UncaYimmy, or you. VFF's BS is a problem, and one that is within the purview of skepticism, but continuing to do what doesn't work is irrational. I am not being critical of past works, I never stated that you shouldn't have done this to begin with. I am critical of the continued use of the same method, which is proven ineffective. I don't claim to know the solution, but my head is clear enough to know futility when I see it.

Here's a linky
 

This was posted a couple of days ago on Mr Clearhead's own website:
 

All of this gives a good thinking person plenty of reason to hate this woman. Fortunately, I think with my dick, so I still like her. Look me up next time you're in Florida, baby. We'll get shithammered on Jager and go "woo woo!" all night long.

Link 

Let me think . . .   how to respond . . .

Oh, I know!

Put your brain back in your pants and fuck off, stupid.

Yeah, that should cover it.

I have to agree with your response, Akhenaten. From that bit you posted from his website, I gauge his mental age to be about twelve or thirteen.

M.

Posted By bookitty on 23 Apr 2010 03:55 AM

Still think I'm wrong?  I've told my husband about you.  Worried him a little because I've never called upon his excellent peace-keeping abilities before.  But I explained that it's just a better safe than sorry thing.   If you are ever near me, he keeps an eye on things.  Not because I'm afraid of you (don't flatter yourself) but because boy, you aint right.

You're telling Jim not to flatter himself in the same breath that you're adopting this delusion of grandeur that you're worth anyone going out of their way to do some nameless thing to you?

Notwithstanding the inference that you're married to some poor bugger, are you fuckin' ten years old?  

Now, I've gotten into many an internet scuffle before and let me tell you, some of those anti-abortion types are freaky. But I've never brought it into my life.  Never felt the need.  So go ahead, put it all on me.  I'm probably paranoid, yadda, yadda.   But what is it about you that triggers all that?  It's curious, isn't it?

You ramble as much about absolutely fuck-all nearly as much as Arcturus Annie does.  I wonder if there's something contagious happening here.

I would have preferred this to be a private email but obviously, you're not mature enough to handle that. 

You're funny.

You mean unsubscribe from the thread that YOU made about ME and invited me to join?   BRILLIANT.  Fucking ass.

Posted By Ashles on 23 Apr 2010 06:11 AM

Posted By Robo Sapien on 22 Apr 2010 11:17 PM
I meant every word about her on my blog, even the bit at the end. I'd shag her rotten, and so would you.

Jeez dude, come on that's a bit creepy and gross.

Oh come on, like you wouldn't grudge fuck her?   I might be creepy and gross, but at least I have no delusions about it.  Admit it, she's a cute gal.  Not exactly fit to be an underwear model, but shagworthy all the same.

Posted By Robo Sapien on 24 Apr 2010 04:12 PM

You mean unsubscribe from the thread that YOU made about ME and invited me to join?   BRILLIANT.  Fucking ass.

Akhenaten was talking about the thread on the JREFF, genius. You know, the one you invited everyone to "get out" of.

Posted By Robo Sapien on 24 Apr 2010 04:12 PM

You mean unsubscribe from the thread that YOU made about ME and invited me to join? 

Way to completely miss the point!

  BRILLIANT.  Fucking ass.

[sniggers]