Who's Harassing Whom?

I have repeatedly told Anita not to contact me except through an attorney. This was after she threatened multiple times to file lawsuits and contact the police. It was also after she used this forum to threaten a staff member at her university (she said she would get this person fired). I blocked her on Facebook, blocked her on Skype, and banned her from posting here. Despite that, she continued to send me e-mails including one that said in effect, "I think I'm dying. If you don't hear from me again, it means I'm dead. Just know I LOVE YOU!" After each e-mail I replied with, "Do not contact me again except through an attorney."

It didn't help. She continued with the e-mails even going so far as to tell me not to "degrade" myself by telling her not to e-mail me again. Last week she accidentally became unblocked in Skype (software glitch). Soon thereafter she started in with instant messages asking me to call her and do a video chat where I could see her "all [I] want." I blocked her again.

At this point I decided to look into filing a civil no-contact order in North Carolina where she lives. I replied to one of her e-mails advising her as much and asking for her legal name and residence for the forms. I told her not to reply with anything else. She then went to my YouTube account and left a comment about how wonderful my wife and children are. Creepy. She then sent me the following 3,501 e-mail along with her contact information. I offer it to you unedited.

Mr. Carr,

I have faith in the legal system, which is designed to protect people and
to see to our legal rights and to assist everyone in protection of their
self and their home. Meanwhile, I have also faith in their competence in
distinguishing when law needs to step in and apply special resources in
ensuring the safety and in protecting the legal rights of people. And I am
sure they will see each raised concern objectively, and never biased by
the personal perspective of an individual who asks for help.

Mr. Carr, you and I began as friends. Good friends, if I recall. You were
always somebody for me to talk to, and you seemed to enjoy our
conversations and our friendship.

Yes, I am a paranormal claimant. I have an interesting experience,
probably related to synesthesia, and I know you object to this theoretical
explanation, but there is an expert in human sensory processing who agrees
with me. As you know, when I look at people, I feel something across them,
that then translates in my mind into vision. I call it vision from
feeling, and this type of cross-linking between something that is
perceived and into an experience that is artificial and of a different
nature, is quite typical of what synesthesia is all about. I also see a
color when I read a letter, or a number.

Synesthesia is by definition not a mental illness. Persons with
synesthesia are able to distinguish between what is mutual reality for all
of us, and what are their own personal sensory experiences. It is not much
different than when anybody looks at a painting and "feels" something
emotional, or perhaps the painting makes them recall a memory. One would
know that these experiences do not exist in the painting and is able to
distinguish that they are all in one's own mind.

I am trying to explain that my paranormal claim is not a mental illness.
There may be something that I see in a person, that offers a very subtle
and unthinkable clue regarding their health, and that my brain is able to
pick up on those clues and translate them into corresponding images. I
have had interesting cases of accurately describing a person's health
information, and knowing things that I should not have been able to know.
My favorite theory is that there is something I see, that my brain
registers, but that a person consciously could never notice, and that my
brain through what is synesthesia, translates these subtle clues into
pictures and images of health.

The paranormal claim I thus have, is an interesting one. I do not expect
to find some paranormal explanation behind it, but to discover perhaps
some extrasensory processing ability, or to find some other very simple
explanation. I do know however from my years of experience and of studying
my claim, that it is not as simple as any of the following: It is not
false memory, ie. I am not simply remembering it wrong, because I take
careful notes and accuracy is often confirmed by someone other than me. I
am not lying about my experiences, nor am I in any way exaggerating the
nature of my experiences with this claim.

Above all I want you to understand that my experiences of feeling and then
seeing health information, and images in my mind that depict the insides
of a person, is my experience, and I am entitled to it. It is not a mental
illness to be medicated away or taken away from me. And I resent any of
the things said or actions taken by others that are based on their
intolerance of the individuality and uniqueness of each person, when I am
told that I am not entitled to my experience and that it is something I
should not be having. Many persons with synesthesia enjoy wonderful
landscapes of visual, auditory, and other sensory experiences that,
gratefully, we are entitled to keep.

The perceptions I have are real. I truly do feel and see these things that
I have been describing. There is nothing in my experience that raises any
reason for concern. The images I have are not uncomfortable to me, or
scary. They do not blend into my sense of reality. I clearly distinguish
between what I experience through ordinary senses, and what are my
personal experiences of color and feeling that are a secondary artificial
creation in my mind. I have described these perceptions to at least three
experts in mental health and human sensory processing, and none raised any
concern.

I am trying to explain to you that I do not need to be stopped! You have a
website and personal agenda dedicated to this huge effort you are doing in
trying to stop me from trying to learn more about my experience! And I
find it both offensive and insulting of you to do so! I have always
welcomed your opinions and the balance that you add into this exploration
I am on.

There are so many examples of how someone might choose to exploit having a
paranormal claim such as this, or how one might unknowingly cause harm to
others. If I were to run up to people and tell them what I feel about
their health, that would be wrong, for every reason. The information I
give could be inaccurate, and even if it were accurate in any individual
case, it would still require conventional medical diagnosing to clear the
doubt. I do not give people medical advice or share with them what I feel
about their health or otherwise. I have only given my health perceptions
to skeptics who were participating in my study of my claim, or when it is
the case of close friends.

I do not offer psychic readings, and I do not consider myself a psychic. I
do not charge anybody any money for anything that I do or say, and instead
I have been spending already over $1,000 in investigating my experience
with skeptics. This price includes travel, test material for our IIG test,
and other expenses related to conducting a study and the test.

There are so many so-called psychics out there, with their phonelines and
in-person readings, seemingly legally charging people big money to be
given "psychic" advice on anything from lovelife troubles to health
advice, yet I am not one to do so.

There are other possible scenarios that one could imagine would be reason
for concern regarding someone who experiences synthetic sensory
information in their mind, like I do. If these images were scary to me, or
if they were overwhelming, or if I talked about them out loud, or if even
I were personally convinced that they are a depiction of reality, and many
other possible cases, but none of this is true of me. There is nothing in
how I experience my vision from feeling, that raises a reason for concern.
The experience I have, that is my claim, causes no harm or distress to
myself or to any other persons I associate with.

I am trying to explain to you, that I pose no threat to anybody and that I
do not need to be stopped. Rather, I should be encouraged to continue.

I see two main reasons for why my investigation of my claim is going to be
useful for skepticism and the field of critical thinking. For one, I am a
true claimant, but one that is offering full insight into that claim and
is going through the skeptical method to investigate that claim and to
reach a final conclusion as to how it works, or doesn't work. What is
learned from my case example, can be useful in trying to understand other
claimants or in the fight against harmful pseudoscience whether that be
based on a genuine experience such as mine, or on outright fraud and lies.
So there is a great opportunity of learning about this somewhat mysterious
and private concept of the unexplained.

Few, if any, other claimants of things similar to this, are anywhere near
as open or honest about their experience, and very few are willing to dive
into skepticism and the scientific method to provide with a true
understanding of what it is they experience. So, the second reason my
investigation is very valuable, is that it allows for the knowledge to
help us fight against harmful woo.

What I am doing, and the way in which I am doing this, must NOT be stopped.

Your fight against me is a fight against critical thinking and the need to
explore and to learn more. I think you are lacking in tolerance of people
who are not like you. You can not deny other people of opinions and
experiences simply if those differ from yours. The beauty is in engaging
in discussions and listening to one another, and knowing that truth and
what we know of reality comes from the combination and merging of
different ideas and experiences from a lot of people, and no one man can
fully describe on his own what the world is like. Truth rises up through
common sense, and the rest falls away.

I truly do have an interesting experience, and I am dying to learn more
about it, and people like you are trying to stop me! There is nothing
unethical about what I am doing.

I do not need to be stopped simply because you disagree with me.

As for contacting you... You and I used to be good friends. We used to
talk a lot, about all sorts of things. I do believe fully and
wholeheartedly, that you are trying to be a skeptic. You are trying to
contribute to my investigation, you want the answers to be clear, but what
is becoming clear is that your judgement is flawed by your personal
expectations.

Yes, I did have a past as Alenara the Breatharian, but I am now today a
science student with my future and career in pure and conventional
science. I could have made millions in Breatharianism, with my book,
lectures, and other commercial products, but I have stepped back from it
and did not earn a penny. Yes I was as a matter of fact interviewed about
Breatharianism on Rational Alchemy, but I then chose to ask for that
discussion to not be included, because I do not want to promote the idea.
Breatharianism has some truths to it, it is possible to alter the
endurance level without food and drink by thoughts and awareness, and it
does involve and produce various spiritual experiences, but I regard it a
potentially dangerous practice and one that I simply will not promote
today, even to the point of not wanting to discuss it. You may wish to
bring up my past in Breatharianism over and over again, but it should only
serve to exemplify what a responsible person I am to have realized that it
is something not to be promoted. Please realize, and think about it, I
could have made millions, yet I stepped away, and I am not even tempted.

Yes, I see and hear and talk to ghosts, but you know that it is an
experience none more dramatic or concerning than when any of us are
watching television.

I did call you on the phone repeatedly one day to try to get a hold of
you. But I was not calling some random person trying to invade in their
home. I had been reading about how you, and others on your site, had
twisted something harmless that I had said, into the most horrific of
things, and it was hurting me. I had said once that my perception of the
tissues of black people are slightly different and more beautiful than
what I perceive of white people. This, you and others, twisted into making
me sound like some absolute Nazi who is racially intolerant of blacks, and
what little I know of black history and any of the evil of racial
discrimination, it was killing me to be portrayed by you as someone who
would have any part in it. When all I said, was that in the synesthetic
experience I have of human bodies, black people come across as more
beautiful. I was crying and sobbing when I tried to explain on your
voicemail how hurt I was. But you omit this information surrounding the
details of this, and you show utterly no consideration to what I was going
through.

I was being portrayed by you, on the internet, as some racist, and all the
evils of racism was being attached to my person and by you, and all I was
asking was for you to stop. And you have the nerve to keep stating time
and time again that I was harassing you over the phone. These were the
ONLY times I have ever called. What you did to me and put me through by
painting me as some sort of racist was hurtful to me beyond any sense of
the word of harassment that you think took place when I spoke on your
answering machine trying to make words in spite of all the sobbing and
crying that I could not hold back. And your slander against me remains on
your website, and even to this day people are reading it. And those
voicemails were only once, and they are gone. And you dare to say I harass
you.

The messages I leave you on the internet are always nice. Always friendly,
and often playful. I still think of you the way I did when I first got to
know you. When you were still a good person to me, and before you started
doing everything you could creatively think of to try to hurt me. I say
things like, goodnight and happy new year. And you have every means to
block me from sending you e-mails.

You were obviously confused about the two recordings I appeared in around
the same time, one informal conversation on my website, and the other the
radio interview with Rational Alchemy, and all I did was to send you a
friendly e-mail explaining to you what the difference was. Had I posted
the content of that e-mail on my website, I am sure you would have read
it. You always are the first to detect even the slightest updates on even
the most remote pages on my website, so I am sure you would have read it.
So it is not that the content of my e-mail was disturbing to you, or that
you were exposed to information that you did not want to have to read. You
would have read it anyway.

... When I had my IIG test, having the paranormal test, I had gone farther
ahead than almost any paranormal claimant. It is what we Skeptics would
encourage claimants to do. And you had worked hard to help me get as far
as having the test, because it was burdened on me to come up with a
testing protocol and I was asking for help from you Skeptics. ... But all
you could do, during the entire time that I was in Hollywood taking my
test, was to insult my personal appearance, to insult the clothes that I
was wearing, my hair, and to make very obscene and uncalled for comments
about my body.

I try to listen to you, and I do read when you post your comments and
thoughts about my claim and test. But remembering several instances, such
as the one where during the test itself, you had little interest in the
test and in the skepticism involved, and paid more attention to calling me
obese. It is things like that, and many more, that make you come across as
not quite a real Skeptic, and not much of a man.

I am engaging Skeptics in the investigation of my claim. I am fully open
and ready to falsify my claim, ie. to find out that there is no extent of
interesting accuracy ie. nothing to study here at all, or that there is
accuracy beyond what is acchievable from the odds of guessing or using
known normal sensory intake. Either case, I am willing to embrace either
one, and excited to find out. And by being open enough to make this
investigation a documentary, I was hoping that others could, through this
example, also learn more about the concept of paranormal claims, and the
process of having them tested and put through skepticism.

It is being explained to me, that my test results were beyond chance. And
I do not want to hear about how "one person guessed as well as I did",
because that is the case of one person in a large group of more than 50
people guessing together, so if odds were to say that 1 in 50 could guess
as well as I did, well do remember that I was only one person. And all I
am asking is to have another test. That is all I ask.

I do not ask to open shop and begin offering psychic readings. I do not
ask that anyone believe I have supernatural powers. I do not ask that
anybody think I am special or important in this. ... All I am asking is
for tolerance to let me continue to investigate this, so that I can learn
more, and to have another test. I am even hoping that another test will
produce results that make falsification very clear, so that I can finally
end this and you can leave me alone, Jim Carr.

I am concerned, since I feel that your attempts at obtaining a legal
no-contact order is NOTHING but your desire to make this a one-sided
debate. You will slander and misinterpret everything I am. And you will
not let me offer my perspective, or to defend myself. You can not carry on
with your personal campaign in which you spread slander and lies about me
that are obviously intended as harmful, and to expect law to grant you the
right to quiet me. You can not do so. YOU are the one harassing me, Jim
Carr.

Fortunately, laws are in place to protect me against someone like you.

I will provide you with my name, legal residence and phone number, but
only because these are already available to anyone on the internet. I ask
that you forward to me the contact information of anyone you contact about
me, so that I have a fair chance of representing my version of this drama
that you create around my humble investigation of the paranormal. I also
invite you to call me, and to talk this through with me. I do wish you
were one of those persons who in a personal conflict with another person
would act in kindness and we could talk this through. I am not worried of
any consequences from your actions against me. I have already suffered
great hurt because of you, and the heart pain I wrote to you about
earlier, was caused by another, different issue, but aggravated and
brought on by you. The pain was real, but you use this, along with
anything at all about me, in an attack against me.

I do wish you would see that you are going about your attempts at
skepticism the wrong way. That you are deliberately trying to hurt
someone. All I did was step up and allow skepticism to process my strange
experience that is my paranormal claim. I have conducted my investigation
effectively, kindly and respectfully. I asked to engage Skeptics to help
me design tests and evaluate the process, instead I ended up with one big
bully who has gotten carried away. You are taking what is a harmless
little experience of something that a science student is curious about
investigating as a Skeptic and together with Skeptics, and you have turned
that into your personal agenda to do anything in your creative power to
hurt me on a personal level.

Jim Carr, you are not a Skeptic. You are an opinionated person who likes
to disagree with other people, who has a hard time considering the
opinions of others, who is totally lacking in the human emotions of
empathy and kindness to others. Luckily, I have the amount of
self-restraint and sense of distance to my skeptical project, to not take
you too personally and that guards me from some of the harm you are
deliberately trying to cause. Sadly, you lack this very self-restraint and
sense of distance to realize that what we are dealing with here is "just"
a paranormal claim presented to a study, and that it is nothing worthy of
the aggressive, inconsiderate and deliberately hurtful campaign you engage
in, to cause harm to someone who is not just a paranormal claimant, but a
real person too.